It took me a long time to realize this, but self-love is like a muscle. You have to practice at it, it’ll feel odd at first, but eventually you will find your stride and be able to confidently experience self-love.
You are worthy of love, and loving yourself can be very difficult, but you deserve it! I used to really struggle with self-love, but eventually I was able to build up my self-love, self-confidence, and self-appreciation.
10 ways to practice and build self-love for better mental health graphic by Kenise, ATSO
I have tried many different methods of practicing self-love, and I want to share my 10 favorite methods with you to help you and your loved ones on their self-love journey.
Self-love can help improve your self-confidence, your self-appreciation, and your overall mental health. Like any muscle, it takes some time to build and you have to practice, but you can do it!
So here are my 10 favorite ways to build self-love that personally helped me build a healthier and more loving relationship with myself!
1. Write down positive adjectives (about 5-10 to start) and practice describing yourself with these adjectives.
Photo of glasses and self-love adjectives by Sincerely Media via Unsplash
Use the format, “I am *insert positive adjective here*”. Try speaking these sentences aloud to build your comfort level with hearing yourself positively talk about yourself. If saying these positive phrases about yourself aloud is too difficult, try writing them out on paper first, then spend a few moments looking at what you’ve written and appreciating the effort you are putting into building your self-love.
2. Say positive affirmations to your reflection in the mirror.
Say positive affirmations to your reflection in the mirror graphic by Kenise, ATSO
This can feel very awkward at first, but I promise it is a really effective method for building self-love and self-confidence. Speaking to your reflection is extra powerful when it comes to building your self-love and self-confidence, because you can talk directly to yourself and learn to feel more comfortable really focusing on and appreciating yourself. Your reflection will also show you your comfort level with accepting self-love and compliments. From personal experience, I went from bashfully and awkwardly mumbling positive affirmations to now smiling and feeling comforted when I compliment and support myself through self-love.
3. Listen to songs that exude confidence and then sing along. Bonus points if you make a playlist full of your favorite ones.
Listen to songs that exude confidence and then sing along graphic by Kenise, ATSO
When I ‘graduated’ from being able to comfortably write down positive things about myself, I wanted to move on to speaking them aloud, but still felt uncomfortable trying to verbalize the positive affirmations.
I found singing and rapping along to confident songs, especially in the shower or on solo car rides where I can really belt it out with no shame, super helpful in transitioning from writing positive things about myself to speaking about myself positively. I keep a playlist of all of my favorite confident anthems for easy access whenever I need a pick-me-up.
Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion have so many amazing songs full of confident, positive affirmations and declarations of self-love if you are looking for some ideas to start a playlist of your own.
4. Practice doing more self-care and investing time in yourself.
Practice doing more self-care and investing time in yourself graphic by Kenise, ATSO
A face mask or doing your hair won’t cure your mental health, but spending time on yourself can help you build your appreciation for yourself and your self-worth. In my experience, even at my lowest self-confidence and self-love moments, I still always valued time, because I, like all other humans, feel the passage of time (even if I disassociate for a bit). We see time measured everywhere, and people always want to know what you are doing with your time. By spending more time on yourself, the value you associate with that time can gradually be transferred to the value you associate with yourself.
5. Get in the habit of celebrating even your ‘small’ achievements.
Get in the habit of celebrating even your small achievements graphic by Kenise, ATSO
Giving yourself the recognition you deserve for even the ‘small’ accomplishments is a great way to build your self-appreciation, self-confidence, and self-love.
If you were to picture yourself standing on a platform with your goal destination 100 feet (a little over 30 meters) above your head, and someone offered you the choice of either a trampoline or a giant ladder to reach your goal destination, you would probably choose the giant ladder (unless you have some never-before-seen superhuman trampoline skills). In this scenario, the trampoline is one ginormous effort towards your goal (which is typically impossible), and the ladder is a bunch of small steps put together for success. Moral of the analogy: small steps are acceptable, helpful, and a healthy way to maintain and sustain progress toward your goals.
6. Leave self-love notes around your space to help remind yourself of all the love you deserve.
Leave self-love notes around your space to help remind yourself of all the love you deserve graphic by Kenise, ATSO
Every time you see these little self-love affirmations around your space, you will automatically read it which makes your brain think the positive statement to yourself. This can help you and your brain feel more comfortable and used to thinking positively about yourself. This will then help you feel more comfortable and confident saying these self-love affirmations.
7. Want a more private way to declare your self-love? In skin-safe ink, write down a simple, positive affirmation on the inside of your wrist, arm, or ankle.
In skin-safe ink write down a simple positive affirmation on the inside of your wrist, arm, or ankle graphic by Kenise, ATSO
This is especially useful if you are just starting out on your self-love journey and just beginning to build that self-love muscle. It’s a private declaration of self-love that you can easily reference throughout your day.
Every time you look down you will read it and automatically think the positive self-love affirmation about yourself. This private and frequent reminder to appreciate yourself is an underrated tool, especially for self-love beginners.
8. On special occasions and on your birthday, get yourself a little gift you normally wouldn’t get. Treat this as a loving little present to yourself.
On special occasions and on your birthday, get yourself a little gift you normally wouldn’t get. Treat this as a loving little present to yourself graphic by Kenise, ATSO
This does not need to be anything super expensive, but it is a great way to celebrate and show appreciation for yourself. This is an especially useful self-love practice if one of your love languages is gifts.
If you don’t have any extra money to spend, give yourself some extra relaxation time or do a free activity that makes you happy. This could be anything from crafting to cooking to a walk in the park. You can also check event apps and pages for free activities near you for some ideas.
9. Every time you think something negative about yourself, practice thinking something positive about yourself right after.
Never forget that what you believe is what you become graphic by Kenise, ATSO
Our brains are capable of neuroplasticity, which is the ability to change our neural pathways, which can help us build healthier thinking patterns.
By thinking a positive thing about yourself right after thinking a negative thing about yourself, you are offsetting the negativity. When you first start using this self-love technique, you don’t actually need to 100% believe the positive thing about yourself yet. The simple act of just thinking the thought to offset the negative thought can help you engage your neuroplasticity and begin retraining your brain to think more positively about yourself.
10. On days when you feel more confident, take extra time to celebrate, compliment, and thank yourself.
Reminder: on days when you feel more confident, take extra time to celebrate, compliment, and thank yourself graphic by Kenise, ATSO
As you build self-love, you will find yourself experiencing more confident days. In life, there will be ups and downs, good days and bad days, and like everything in the universe, there will be positives and negatives. That is why it is important to appreciate the positive and good days extra.
So on the good days, try practicing more self-confidence and self-love, because it will help you extra on the bad days. As my grandmother Angie always said, “Appreciate the good days, because they will get you through the bad”.
Thank you for reading, and remember that you deserve and are capable of fulfilling self-love. We at ATSO believe in you and are here for you!
Always yours,
Sara, ATSO
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