Knowing how to stay calm in stressful situations can be a super helpful skill to learn, especially when you want to feel more in control of your mental health. This knowledge can be especially helpful when you still want to process your emotions, but want to also feel more in control of your emotions when engaging with others.
This particular list of mental health coping skills for staying calm in stressful situations was requested by one of our subscribers! They found this list very helpful, so we are happy to share it with you too!
How to stay calm in stressful situations graphic by Kenise, ATSO
Stressful situations can be tough, and sometimes that can leave a lasting effect that is difficult to manage. So knowing how to manage stressful situations and your emotions when it’s challenging is key to creating a better future for you and your mental health.
Read on for 11 ways to stay calm in stressful situations and fight feelings of irritability:
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1. Practice grounding by using the grounding technique that works the best for you.
Graphic of the 5 4 3 2 1 grounding technique by Sara, ATSO
Grounding, regardless of the method you use, can be one of the most useful coping skills to have in your mental health toolkit. It is also one of the best coping mechanisms to learn first because it can be used immediately in a variety of situations. There are a variety of grounding techniques to use, and I suggest finding the one that works best for you and is easiest for you to memorize.
My personal favorite grounding method is the feet method, where you place your feet firmly on the ground, hip-length apart, and focus specifically on the feeling of your feet on the ground. Do this until you feel completely aware of all of the ground right beneath each part of your feet. This is a great way to pull yourself back to reality if you are dissociating, can calm your heart rate, and can help you feel more centered in chaotic situations.
Calmware makes our absolute favorite fidget/worry/self-care tools! Their tools (handmade mugs, keychains, and desk tiles) use psychology-backed techniques to activate the body’s parasympathetic nervous center, AKA our relaxation system for maximum relief.
2. Practice square breathing methods to help you stay calm.
Remember to inhale exhale graphic by Sara, ATSO
Another way to stay calm in stressful situations is the box breathing method, where you breathe in for five seconds, hold for five seconds, breathe out for five seconds, hold for five seconds, and repeat as needed. Imagine with each breath that you are forming a side of a square or box, and let your concentrated breathing calm and center yourself.
This is also very useful if you want to calm yourself down and give yourself time to consciously think of what, if anything, you want to say next in the situation. Again, Calmware makes super helpful grounding tools for your home, office, and on the go!
3. Practice tapping on your bones, like the center of your wrist or collarbone.
Practice tapping graphic by Kenise, ATSO
Tapping can be especially helpful for people who may be more stimulated by touch, or whose love language is touch. The repetitive motion can be calming and help you regulate any extra anxiety or stress you may be feeling. Tapping can also calm you down in stressful situations. Tapping is sometimes referred to as the emotional freedom technique (EFT).
4. Identify the stressor and try to remove it from your environment if possible.
Identify the Stressor graphic by Kenise, ATSO
If the stressor is an object, this can be pretty easy to do, unless there is some sentimental tie to the object. If the stressor is a person, then this can be more easily said than done.
Stressful situations are usually caused by one or more stressors, so understanding what your particular stressors are is key to minimizing the amount of stressful situations you willingly put yourself in. This can also help you prepare better for stressful situations since you understand your mental health and stressors better.
If your stressor is a person, then I recommend setting and maintaining boundaries with this person. You can also set time limits for yourself to decide how much time you will spend with the person, and if all else fails, you may need to consider removing this person from your life entirely.
5. Apply pressure to your pressure points to help alleviate your anxiety in stressful situations.
Use your pressure points to help alleviate anxiety and stress graphic by Sara, ATSO
Applying pressure to your pressure points during stressful situations can help you calm down, center yourself, and destress. Your body can hold a lot of tension and stress naturally, so knowing about your pressure points can help you more easily release this stress and tension from your body.
Pressure points can be used for a variety of different reasons. Pressure points like the spot between your thumb and pointer finger can help release feelings of anxiety and calm you down. There are many pressure points you can explore and utilize for stressful situations.
6. Take a moment for yourself. Go to the bathroom and use the cold water from the sink to calm down.
Take time for yourself graphic by Sara, ATSO
When stressful situations surprise you or become overwhelming, it can be especially helpful to take a moment for yourself to destress. The bathroom can be a good place to take a private break, plus, saying you need to use the bathroom is a good excuse to leave the situation momentarily and natural to work into any conversation.
Utilize the sink in the bathroom and either splash some cold water on your face or add some cold water to a towel or tissue paper and wipe down your face, neck, collarbone, and/or wrists if you need to. You can also wash your hands and wrists in cold water to help calm yourself down and center yourself.
7. Remind yourself that it is okay to leave toxic environments that no longer serve you.
Remember, toxicity spreads graphic by ATSO
It is completely okay to leave toxic environments that no longer serve you, and it is incredibly healthy to set boundaries for yourself and for situations you put yourself in. You get to choose who has access to you, and please remember that your presence is a gift.
If there is a certain environment that constantly feels toxic and stressful for you, then that can be a sign that you need to add more boundaries or leave that environment. You often need to let go of the bad to make room for the good.
8. Keep a cold glass of water on hand, and you can press it to the insides of your wrists to calm down on the go.
Keep a cold glass of water on hand graphic by Kenise, ATSO
I am one of those people who LOVES water and I probably drink at least two gallons of water a day. Now there is no need to be as extra as me when it comes to water consumption, but keeping cold water on hand can be very useful when it comes to managing your mental health on the go.
Not only does staying hydrated help your brain function, but cold water can be calming, and a cold water bottle can be combined with pressure points to make it even easier to stay calm in stressful situations on the go.
9. Take a deep breath each time before you speak to avoid saying something you will later regret.
Reminder, take a deep breath graphic by Kenise, ATSO
It can be easy to feel worked up and overreact when in stressful situations, but then you leave feeling mad at yourself and feeling guilty for what you said but maybe didn’t really mean. Taking a breath before responding not only helps you actively listen to the person who may stress you out, but also affords you additional time to decide and mentally review what you want to say next. Our words matter, and it is important to remember that everyone’s mental health matters. If someone is a very stressful person, odds are they are very stressed themselves.
10. Make time to destress afterward, which will help you rid yourself of excess nervous adrenaline.
Make time to destress graphic by Kenise, ATSO
Making time for yourself to destress and process your emotions is an elite form of self-care if you ask me. It can be a complete game changer when it comes to progressing in your mental health journey. Knowing you have time to destress after a stressful event can also make that stressful event easier to get through because you know you have rewarding you-time awaiting you afterward.
11. Read more books on the topic. My favorite is “How to Fight” by Thich Nhat Hanh.
Read more books on the topic graphic by Kenise, ATSO
Going for external knowledge and advice on situations that are stressing you out and confusing you can be extremely helpful. Therapy is very useful, especially when done regularly, but since not all of us can afford therapy, books can be another extremely useful tool to gain some professional perspective to help you out.
“How to Fight” by Thich Nhat Hanh is one of my favorite books for learning how to communicate effectively, understand our anger and frustration, and manage stressful situations better. It is a quick read and I highly recommend it.
If you’re looking for more guided help to regulate your emotions and heal our friend, Coach Ashley, offers a Nervous System Regulation and Healing MasterClass to help you develop the necessary tools to manage stress and avoid burnout. Use our code ‘NOBURNOUT’ at checkout and we get 15% towards our ATSO mission!
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