Coping skills are the key to long-term mental health success. Especially if you, like me, live with chronic mental health issues.
When I was first diagnosed with endogenous depression, I had to figure out a way to accept the fact that I would feel the effects of my mental health disorders every day, for the rest of my life. To say I was terrified and feeling hopeless would be an understatement.
My psychiatrist at the time called me with the formal diagnosis. It was a hot spring day in L.A., and everyone was running around in the midday’s energized chaos. Sitting on a couch, in the middle of my sorority’s bustling living room, I fought back tears as I received some of the worst news of my life. On the small lunch break I squeezed in between my three long lectures of the day, and as a shy crier, the last thing I wanted was to spill a tear and catch someone’s attention.
Reminder: It is okay and healthy to cry.
Surrounded by people and friends who would have given me a hug, and tried to console me, I felt frozen. All I could do was listen, and try to hold it together enough to actually hear what my psychiatrist was saying.
He told me how coping mechanisms could really help me, and even become my tool kit for making it through the day. That alone did not bring me much hope at the time, but he promised to work with me on developing the skills in our coming sessions.
Looking back at this memory, I am so proud of myself for holding on and trusting in the process. Now, I know that my psychiatrist was not exaggerating when he said that by practicing the coping skills, they would become second-nature, almost instinctual.
Coping skills for mental health success. Practice helps make you stronger. Ask The Stubborn Optimist
I still experience the same symptoms, but I am infinitely better at managing them now than I was only a few years ago.
Now, I am happier, healthier, more confident, and understand myself better than I ever have in my life. Coping skills changed my life for the better. I have the same mental health disorders as before, namely depression and anxiety, but now I feel more in charge of my brain, and my mental health.
When my psychiatrist said that coping skills would become my ‘tool kit’, I pictured the equivalent of a metaphorical me lugging around a clunky old tool kit for the rest of my life in order to survive. In reality, it is more like metaphorical me now has her own personal iron man suit she can easily slip into whenever needed. Took time to make, but damn, it is worth it.
I tell you all of this because I need you to know that it really does get better. It takes work, time, and the willingness to really understand yourself. But it does get better. The kind of better you only ever dreamed existed. The kind of better that if you traveled back in time to tell past-you about it, they would jump up, cheering and crying with joy. And they would give you the biggest hug, because you are their hero for holding on, even through the worst of times.
Yes! You can be your own hero.
Yes, you can be your own hero. It is a simple truth of life, yet one that no one ever told me. I had to learn it on my own. Coping skills really do work. With them, in addition to my meds (I take Celexa and Wellbutrin daily), and a professional mental health counselor I can talk to when I need, I am able to live my best, happy life. The coping skills have become second-nature. I now have my own metaphorical iron man suit ready at any moment, and so can you.
You can be your own hero. You can make it through the darkest chapters of your life. You can do this, even when you do not believe you can.
I founded ATSO because I made a promise to myself, and to you, those five plus years ago in L.A., when I was listening to my psychiatrist tell me some of the worst news of my life. I promised to take notes of all the coping mechanisms I would try from that moment forward. I would figure out the patterns, discover which coping skills work best in which situations, and note down all of the tips and random tricks I learned along the way. So that I could share them all with you. So that no one else would have to feel as alone, hopeless, and terrified as I did in that one moment.
So be stubbornly optimistic. Congratulate yourself for making it through 100% of your bad days. Practice thanking yourself for all that you do for YOU throughout the day. Because you deserve to hear how amazing and loving you are.
Know that I am here for you and that ATSO works to provide you with all of the mental health resources and connections you could need. And we will continue adding more!
Mental health matters, your mental health is important, and it is possible to live a full, healthy, and happy life with mental health disorders.
Lean into coping skills for success, be patient with yourself, and know that we at Ask The Stubborn Optimist are always here for you. Enjoy our coping skills lists. Think of them as our love letters to you and your mental health. And thank you for being here.
Always yours,
Sara, ATSO
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