Living with intrusive thoughts can be difficult, and since much is still not known about the brain, I have found coping skills to be especially helpful during this time. At least until neuroscience uncovers more knowledge about our brains and their inner workings, allowing us to put a more permanent end to intrusive thoughts.
This is one of the reasons that I love coping skills: they can help you in the immediate present, help you prepare for the long term, and help you process your past. Knowing this, I have set out over the years to find the most peaceful and effective ways to live with my intrusive thoughts. The big takeaway I have learned? Our immediate environments seem to have the most control over our intrusive thoughts.
Working off this, I realized that when I left the pens in the penholder pointy-side up on my desk, every time I passed them, an intrusive thought would barge in suggesting the absolutely terrible idea of introducing the pens to the inner parts of my eyes. I noticed sharp corners and spiky furniture, though very sleek in design, also made my intrusive thoughts want to suggest more terrible and harmful ideas.
I can resist and ignore my intrusive thoughts, but over time this can be exhausting, and I end up losing time and energy I could spend doing things I actually enjoy and thinking about people and ideas I love. So I decided to weed out the intrusive thought triggers in my living spaces, and let me tell you this was one of the best mental health decisions I have ever made.
‘How I Make My Home Safe for My Intrusive Thoughts and I’ graphic by Sara, ATSO
You don’t need to sacrifice aesthetics, you don’t need to spend a lot of time or money on it. You only need the following interior design rules for better mental health and less time lost to intrusive thoughts in your home.
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1. Avoid sharp, outward-facing corners in your home.
Avoid protruding sharp corners in your home graphic by Sara, ATSO
I’m talking about those sharp, edgy Art Deco mirrors, any super sharp decor, and sharp corners on furniture.
You don’t need to buy new pieces, but moving forward, when making a purchase for your home look for items with softer corners. Love the furniture you have, but it has sharp edges? Try my favorite corner bumpers! As someone who consistently walks into the coffee table despite my best efforts, trust me, these are amazing.
And you don’t have to part with any super sharp decor you do love. Just place it somewhere above eye level and/or out of immediate reach.
This will allow you to first get some peace without all of those intrusive thoughts’ triggers, and you can work your way towards better mental health by slowly adding sharper corners and objects back into your space if you want to. I have a set of sharp kitchen knives in a cool acrylic stand, and it actually makes me super happy now because it is a reminder of all of the progress I have made with my intrusive thoughts.
2. Keep your pens, pencils, and scissors in drawers when you’re not using them, or keep them pointy side down in cups or holders.
Pen holder image via Amazon
I like keeping pens in every room in case I ever need to write something down (shout out short-term memory) so I keep a cute pen holder in each room, all pointy sides of the pens, pencils, and scissors down, and this works very well. It also helps me focus more on the work at hand instead of getting distracted by the pointy end of a pencil.
3. Add more pillows and blankets to your space.
Photo of cute dog in comfy pillows and blankets by Vlad Tchompalov via Unsplash
This will help make your space feel cozier, and by picking textures and colors you like for pillows and blankets, you are engaging your other senses of sight and touch, which can help you stay grounded in the present and calm your intrusive thoughts.
4. Add some candles, real or rechargeable, to your space.
Photo of candles in a cozy atmosphere by Rebecca Peterson-Hall via Unsplash.com
This can make your space feel more welcoming and safe, which can help calm your intrusive thoughts. If you do get real candles, you can have fun picking a scent to add to the overall vibe of your home. Just make sure you either leave a window open with the candles, and/or buy paraffin-free candles which are less harmful to the environment and your lungs. My favorite candle material combo is coconut and soy.
5. Keep pictures of your loved ones around, so you always have friendly faces to look at.
Keep photos of loved ones around so there are always friendly faces nearby graphic by Sara, ATSO
They don’t need to be staring at you all the time, but having pictures of family, friends, and/or pets around is a great way to add some extra serotonin and gratitude for these relationships to your home decor. This will help your place feel more loving, comfortable, supportive, and safe at all times.
6. If your place tends to be dirty and there is a lot of stuff on the floor, keep some comfy slippers on hand!
Comfy black slippers via Amazon
No one wants to be tempted to step on some Legos or phone chargers lying around. So for the days, weeks, months, or years when you’re not really in your clean era, some comfy house slippers can be your feet’s new best friend. I even wear them out for short errands sometimes since they are so cute and comfy.
7. Keep some ready-to-eat meals on hand at all times.
Always keep ready-to-eat meals on hand graphic by Sara, ATSO
This is extra helpful for those bad days when your intrusive thoughts are extra frequent, you don’t want to have to handle all the knives and sharp objects in the kitchen, and you don’t want to or have the money to spend on takeout. Having easy-to-make or microwave food on hand will help you avoid missing meals and spending money you don’t want to spend.
I’m a fan of always keeping a couple of frozen meals or snacks (hello mozzarella sticks and veggie spring rolls) in the freezer and some cans of soup in the cupboard, so I can make food without really having to make the food.
8. Explore with wall decorations.
Have fun with wall decorations graphic by Sara, ATSO
I have found it easier for my intrusive thoughts to break in and derail my actual train of thought when I zone out. And while I’m a smart woman, I am still prone to zoning out while looking at blank walls or spaces. I’m only human.
So having at least one piece of wall decor in a room, or preferably on every blank wall can be helpful, as it will keep your intrusive thought zone-outs in the seconds and minutes, not hours and hours. It can be a super small piece of decor hung up with a removable command strip, as long as it’s something.
9. After an intrusive thought, say out loud or in your head “No, that’s not what I want” to help condition yourself to have more positive thoughts.
Say “no, that’s not what I want” to your intrusive thoughts graphic by Sara, ATSO
Negating the intrusive thought and actively saying or thinking, “No, that is not what I want” immediately afterward is a great and effective way to reprogram your thoughts and thought patterns to make your brain a safer and more manageable place to be.
So when your first thoughts are intrusive thoughts that barge into your brain with their dangerous notions, use the power of your second thought to regain control of the situation. By stating or thinking your own narrative, and stating what you want, you are simultaneously creating healthier thinking patterns and building your self-assurance.
The more you practice, the more automatic this positive second thought will become.
I hope you have found this ATSO mental health blog post helpful, and please know that it is always a good thing to reach out for help when you need it!
You can also text 988 in the US 24/7 if you need to talk to someone, and you can check here for emergency hotline numbers all around the world.
Always yours,
Sara, ATSO
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